I think my vagina is haunted
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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