I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
