Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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