if you like me you must not know who I am
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
