I heard we made out
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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