Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
