I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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