What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
