i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It was a blind-side dick pic.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
