i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
