Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
