i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize