Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
