At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
