think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
