Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
