4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize