Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
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What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
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I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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