lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
