i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The Olympian is in my bed
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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