How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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