Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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