Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
