What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
