Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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