And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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