oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I want to fling myself into the sun
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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