what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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