I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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