your thong is hanging out like whoa
no, he came in my armpit
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
