NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
