That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
