The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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