I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
