You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
