remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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