how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
and she was petting her beer can
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
