I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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