Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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