i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
