ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize