i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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