Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I had to cum in my sink.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
