her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
