Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
