The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
