suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
