Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
