is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
