I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
