the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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