did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
