It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize