i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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