no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
