If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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