Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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