good thing vaginas are great cup holders
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
