Nicole vs. Life
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
