Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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