how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
