tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
